It's not that i don't trust him, it's just that i felt guilty in my heart and i want to let him have my piece of mind.
After that day we went out for lunch, i felt a little jealousy about him SMS-ing someone whole day =/ I told my friends about it, they suggested to test him out. Giving me ideas such as create an e-mail and flirt him. At 1st, i think it's a good try-out. Few minutes later, i think it is a TERRIBLE idea. It's because i tried to put myself into his shoes. What if one day he found out it's all a set up by me? What do i feel if he's the one doing it to me? I told my friends, forget about it, this test doesn't do any good for me and him. Although i had rejected that silly idea, i still felt extremely bad deep inside my heart. I felt like i needed to let him know, because... we promised before, no matter what happens, just tell out, so that it's good for us both.
Next morning, we had a casual chat via SMS. I decided to tell about yesterday's night incident. I typed out everything, including my regrets and feelings. Yet, his reaction was not the outcome i expected. =/ He was disappointed with what i had just told him... I had asked for his forgiveness and my purpose for telling him, is to be honest and sincere to him. He sounded a little bit of anger in his reply but i never angry or sad, there's only guiltiness in my heart for being so crazy to agree such stupid idea ( although i had already rejected ). At last, i never reply his SMS because i want to give him some time to cool down. If i keep SMS and explain a lot, i guess it will make him more irritated. In my heart, i was hoping that he can understand and reflect my words in his mind, that actually i had no other meaning but to be honest and sincere to him.
Thank God, he has forgiven me. He SMS me saying that he forgave me. I was relieved after reading that. I swear, i will not agree or do any crazy things, as i believe that he wouldn't betray my trust.
So sorry dear for what i had done. I promise i won't have anymore silly doubts on you.
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