Actually what he is planning to do?

I don't have a single idea what he mean!!! He says wanna hack me because of lame excuse and say will return it back? I don't get it! >:( And he says Sunday(4/7/2010) go Pasar Seni find him again. I don't have a single clue what he's up to now... Oh my goodness... Sigh...

Clueless soul

Can't wait for next Friday!

Since I'm so down lately, Yuri decided to bring me go clubbing for the FIRST TIME! At first I'm a bit worried going such places... But suddenly something came to my mind, he also goes clubbing often and he's BELOW 18! Why not I give a try too!? So, the plan is, Friday night go clubbing! And also get the chance to overnight at someone else' house! =p It's been so long I've been locking up myself from the outside world, why not expose myself!? Damn, I felt that I've becoming a BAD girl! Why? Simple. Because I'm sick and tired of giving in too much! He has never been appreciating what good things I sacrifice/done for him. I'm sick, tired, totally freaking out of my mind because of him... I don't wanna be good girl anymore... All good girls are dead because guys kills them... and I am one of it.
Yuri is gonna make me wear spaghetti top, mini skirt, no spectacles, etc etc... And yes, I wanna change over, I don't wanna stick to my old fashioned style.
So, just cut the crap and wait Friday comes! MOS here i come! ;)

Will dreams become true?

Just woke up from my noon nap. And yet, I still felt tired... Why tired? Because I had a dream. According to researchers says, when we are dreaming, our brain is still functioning. This means that our brain is not resting at all. Physically resting, mentally not.
Whoa, I dream of stupid things, which will not happen at all in reality. Trust me, that dream is a total crap, such as pigs can fly. -_- But... I dream of other things before I woke up, which might be able to happen. I dream of him calling me, asking whether am I okay/alright or not. I was so happy and glad that he's so caring about me. Not long later, *poof* it's just a dream... =/ I wish it was real though. Sigh...

Will dreams become reality?

Be Appreciative and Humble

牛，为耕田，拉车.....背负着许多沉重的包袱。。即使被抽鞭着，它也从不会因此而罢工..因为它知道一旦罢工他们就得不到温饱。。。。即使它累了，它也不会放慢脚步..因为它知道脚步一旦慢了，他们会变得散漫。。。。她就是这样..不管休息的时间是多少，她还是保持最佳状态....她从不让血汗泪流下..因为她知道一旦掉了，他们会因此而为她担心。。。。她就是这样，从不把自己放在第一..因为她知道一旦把自己放在第一，他们会因此得不到幸福。。。。牛啊牛，请爱自己多一点..因为一旦爱自己多一点，他们会得到更多你的爱！！！♥ “心疼你的路人”上

This quote is copied from my schoolmate as it is true.

Tired of Tears...

I know I always think too much... He even says that he can't handle people who likes to think so much... But it's my nature, not that I want to be like this. I tried to change before but it's so hard to do it... I also think too much when in previous relationship, I did tried to change but it doesn't work. That's why it came to an end... Will it be the same for me now? Again? History is repeating by itself... Maybe... Or maybe God might give me chance... I really tried hard to get rid of this "Think Too Much" behavior but it always fail all the time. God, please change me... Else my life would be flooded with tears forever...

Distressed soul

Relieved

Just received a SMS from him! :)
He says dealing with family matters and not in a mood to SMS me at the moment... Aww, not again. >_< But I did reply his SMS and asked him to chill and smile. I hope it really helps to make his mood a little better, some sort of comfort for him, perhaps? Although I'm not good at words, now is not the suitable time to SMS a lot to him =/ since he's not in a mood now...

I'll pray for you, dear, that you can settle your family matters in a better way :) Smile always.

Forgiveness, perhaps?

What should I do now? He's not even responding to my SMS and calls >_<
I really felt kinda regret for being honest about that thing... I felt like, sometimes it doesn't really pay off for being honest =/ depends on which type of situation.
Can you hear it? My heart is shattering now... I just hope that you will respond to my SMS or calls =/ I don't ask for much, just a SMS from you will do... Really kinda worried of you too.

Limits of Honesty and Sincerity

It's not that i don't trust him, it's just that i felt guilty in my heart and i want to let him have my piece of mind.
After that day we went out for lunch, i felt a little jealousy about him SMS-ing someone whole day =/ I told my friends about it, they suggested to test him out. Giving me ideas such as create an e-mail and flirt him. At 1st, i think it's a good try-out. Few minutes later, i think it is a TERRIBLE idea. It's because i tried to put myself into his shoes. What if one day he found out it's all a set up by me? What do i feel if he's the one doing it to me? I told my friends, forget about it, this test doesn't do any good for me and him. Although i had rejected that silly idea, i still felt extremely bad deep inside my heart. I felt like i needed to let him know, because... we promised before, no matter what happens, just tell out, so that it's good for us both.

Next morning, we had a casual chat via SMS. I decided to tell about yesterday's night incident. I typed out everything, including my regrets and feelings. Yet, his reaction was not the outcome i expected. =/ He was disappointed with what i had just told him... I had asked for his forgiveness and my purpose for telling him, is to be honest and sincere to him. He sounded a little bit of anger in his reply but i never angry or sad, there's only guiltiness in my heart for being so crazy to agree such stupid idea ( although i had already rejected ). At last, i never reply his SMS because i want to give him some time to cool down. If i keep SMS and explain a lot, i guess it will make him more irritated. In my heart, i was hoping that he can understand and reflect my words in his mind, that actually i had no other meaning but to be honest and sincere to him.
Thank God, he has forgiven me. He SMS me saying that he forgave me. I was relieved after reading that. I swear, i will not agree or do any crazy things, as i believe that he wouldn't betray my trust.

So sorry dear for what i had done. I promise i won't have anymore silly doubts on you.

Newbie ;)

Just created a blog out of nowhere :D
Since i had seen many of my friends having a blog, so i decided to create one. ;)