Happy + Sad = ?

As you can see from the time of this blog posted, I should be at school. Obviously, I took a day off from school today. Usually, it's either I'm sick physically or mentally. This time, it's because of... my heart doesn't feels well as usual.

Happy

I was absolutely happy for past few days, I tried making myself happy without thinking too much about 'his' stuffs. Hanging out with Jowynia was her plan, I didn't expect it at all. And... Hanging out with Yuri was also unpredicted, because we should go out last Sunday, she's the one changed it to the next Sunday. Based on these unexpected plans, I had came up with a conclusion in my mind: God wants me to be super happy so that I'm prepared enough to face the sad cases that gonna happen next in future.

Sad

There's always sad things happen after happy endings, I guess? Well, it happened to me. A day after hanging out with Yuri, the day that I expected has come, 'he' SMS-ed me and announce the end of our relationship... I was not very sad after reading the first sentence about ending of our relationship, I knew it will happen one day. As I read on, I just don't know why tears start rolling down my cheeks. Is it because of sadness? No, it's because I'm touched by his words... Although we're no longer together from this moment onwards, he still wants me to stay a happy life with my friends. Besides, he did clarified what he will do next after breaking up, it's not because of wanna be together with another girl. (I hope you're honest) These few days, although I've been enjoying life with my friends, I still think about him all the time.
Even if he breaks up with me just for another girl, I think I wouldn't mind because I'm not perfect enough for him =) There's one day, I was listening to music, suddenly I could hear the voice in my heart. It tells me to learn to let go, I'm not good enough for him. Tears rolling down on my face and I was smiling, telling myself: Yea... I think I should really learn to let go...
Lastly, what I wanna say is, I just love the way we end our relationship. Really. It is because break ups usually end with quarrels, anger, or sadness. There's non of it occurred between us. Thank God for what He had arranged for me and 'him'. I've also learned something from our relationship, that I'm still not matured and understanding enough to be in a relationship. I guess he's the same too. Heh =)

The wounds in my heart will heal in time, God will help behind me to overcome it =) As for me, I will continue my life and do the things I wanna do, not gonna involve myself in a relationship anymore until time is right because I don't wanna repeat my silly mistakes again. Plus, I'll try to stay happy as I had promised 'him'. =) I think that's all I wanna say here.


Au revoir, ma chère. Tu vas me manquer toujours.

P.S: You can ask me if you had no idea what does it means. x)