I Hate...

First and foremost, I hate people avoiding from answering my questions.

Actually, I was not aware about it. Suddenly, I was aware about something. I was curious, why aren't he tagging me in his note post and youtube video via Facebook. I wanted to ask, so I asked him in a joking manner. Not even 30 seconds has passed, he straight away gave me a reply that he has to go out for dinner and asked me to give a try on SMS-ing him because he's at overseas. Poof! He's gone from Facebook. What do you think/feel if you are me? Obviously he's avoiding that question, right? I'm totally, absolutely, completely PISSED OFF! It's not that I'm sensitive or what, it's about mannerism. Escaping from a question without a proper reason. What a joke. In addition, it's useless for me to tell him WHAT I feel or HOW I feel, as he said before to me on phone many times, he doesn't care/concern about anything, he only care about himself. So, I'll just keep this to myself. I don't know and don't care who will read this, I'm just too mad about this issue, that's why I'm writing it out to release my anger.

Secondly and lastly, I just hate myself.

I hate myself so much for now. Why am I so kind? Why am I so easily influenced by others? What the heck... It doesn't pay off being kind to others. I don't get any benefit, I don't get any token of appreciation from anyone for being kind. I JUST HATE MYSELF FOR BEING SO KIND TO ANYONE ALTHOUGH THEY TREAT ME BAD! I wish I was dead last Tuesday. It's okay, even if I don't die now, I'll die sooner or later. Can anyone just appreciate for what I've done for them? Instead of making use of me... I'm not your puppet for manipulation, I'm not an item, I'm a HUMAN, with FEELINGS! So tired of my life... Yawns...

Humans doesn't know how to appreciate until they realize the importance of that particular person, by the time they realize about it, it's too late to beg them back.